Below are the beautiful words of Darren Miller, our amazing brother-in-law and dear, dear friend. Darren and Carri, were part of our Team Carmen support team last year but have courageously joined Team Carmen to each complete the full Triathlon in March.
Darren's words capture the essence of not only why this cause is important but how Carmen continues to inspire all of us every day.
Love and Light
Heather and Chris
Enjoy.......
PURPOSE OF TEAM CARMEN, CARMEN'S STORY & LEGACY and CONGRATS CARRIE
LINGENFELTER (sometimes people say a story is not for the feint of
heart, I say this is a story for the full of heart) - by Darren Miller
So proud of you Carrie Lingenfelter, regardless if you hit your personal time goal in
yesterday's
Marathon, or not. Thank you too for your pre-race words of inspiration
about Carmen on our Team Carmen | Waikola Lavaman 2014 team page. In
many ways it sparked what follows, which I hope will also be inspiring
to those who take the time to read it --
As you know, there are so many goals when you take on something the size
and scope of a marathon or a triathlon. There is the threshold you
cross to just start the process, period. There is the goal to train for X
amount of months and X amount of days and hours per week... to
appreciate the personal milestones and navigate each challenge along the
way... and to hit/exceed your fundraising goal for such a remarkable
cause as Team in Training and all of the many individuals, families and
friends fighting Blood Cancers everyday that those efforts impact!
There is the goal to just make it to race day, the starting line and to
find your way through whatever your body is dealing with on that day
for those hours tackling each mile of the race. Whether that means
making it all the way to the finish line or simply pushing yourself to
complete as much of the distance as you are capable of on that
particular day. That is truly an accomplishment to be proud of... Even
if you didn't hit your particular time goal, I choose to celebrate all
of the other goals you conquered along the way to finishing your 2nd
Marathon, your 5th TNT event, I choose to celebrate those last 8 miles
yesterday
(which were probably the toughest) when you weren't seeing the times
you hoped for and yet I know you still dug even deeper within yourself
to push to the limit of what you could find in each minute, each step of
the remaining distance. That is true spirit and courage in my book and
to us in the McMiller household!
That you choose to and continue to run in Carmen Leolani White's honor
and carry on her legacy in your individual commitment to fight Blood
Cancers is of the highest honor to me personally (one of her many proud
uncles), to Carri McClure (my wife and one of her many proud aunties),
and I think I am safe to say, to her father Chris White, her mother
Heather White, her magical brother Trevor and all of Carmen's extensive
array of family, friends and supporters. As so many of us can attest,
Carmen's courage, limitless zest and beautiful unique spirit continue to
inspire thousands. Your commitment to raising funds and racing in her
honor allows her story and inspiration to continue to grow and give
courage directly or indirectly to ANYONE facing whatever type of
challenge they are dealing with in their lives, disease related or
otherwise. I believe that is at the core of why each of us are putting
in the time and commitment to raise funds for the Leukemia &
Lymphoma Society on behalf of Team Carmen and log the miles and hours of
training in order to show up and compete on race day at the 2014
Waikola Lavaman Triathlon. We are all proud to do this in honor of
Carmen, as Carrie, you have now done 5 times in your TNT marathon work
and as each member of Team Carmen 2013 did last year when Carmen was
also honored as the Lavaman Race Angel for the approximate 1500 race
competitors.
Carmen has touched and inspired us all individually in so many ways
personal to our own growth. In her battle against Leukemia she showed
us first hand the true meaning of limitlessness. What I remember most
about Carmen's courageous fight with the disease is anytime it/or the
related circumstance surrounding her treatment attempted to imposed a
limit or constraint on her, Carmen made a point of finding a way through
or around it; her spirit would not be bound. With her own brand of
sheer will and fearless determination she met each challenge head on and
refused to be confined for any real period of time from embracing the
fullest joy and beauty she was capable of manifesting and sharing each
day with everyone around her. Her teachers will tell you that, her
friends will tell you that, her caretakers will tell you that, complete
strangers who she encountered will tell you that. It is not to say she
didn't have bad days (as anyone struggling through the intensity of such
extensive treatments does) but she simply refused to allow it to limit
her over time from the celebration she embraced and expressed as love
and life.
Through her example this 5-year old pink twirling princess literally
taught me a different way of seeing the beauty of life, the magic of
imagination and pure creativity, the limitlessness of love and life if
you find the courage to look inside and draw up your own will and not
let outside circumstance keep you from it! Outside circumstance no
matter how imposing is not strong enough to contain the will of the
human spirit and the love it can express and share. On a large public
platform Martin Luther King, whose birthday we celebrate today taught us
this through his living example, Nelson Mandela who recently passed
shone a light on the possibilities of the human spirit for change when
willed into a direction that dismantles artificially imposed limits and
Carmen, in a no less 'impactful' and personal way, taught me this first
hand in how she handled herself through the disease willing herself
through each imposed limit in a fight not simply to live, but to ensure
she was not missing a single opportunity to live each moment of each day
to the magical fullest she could muster... and it didn't stop there...
For Carmen, she had to share her special infectious gift for life with
everyone and we are all thankful and the better for it!
Coming back full circle to Carrie Lingenfelter's marathon run
yesterday
in Carmen's honor. I remember this day in late December Carrie texted
myself and Carri a picture of her holding a sign. She had just
completed her longest training run to date in preparation of her race.
She had run 16.6miles (further than I had biked that day ; ). When she
arrived at the finish of her run her Team in Training Teammates were
there holding up a sign for her with a picture of Carmen on it that read
"Carrie! You're an amazing women with an even more amazing heart -- In
memory of Carmen." I can't tell you how much that inspired me and
touched me to think that somewhere off in the middle of Arizona Carmen
was having a part in providing inspiration to someone, and even a group
of teammates possibly, who were not just challenging their own limits,
but finding their personal place and space beyond those limits and in
doing so were giving and contributing to a cause near and dear to our
hearts. Carrie, in doing that you have shattered any personal pre-set
time goal or time record in history, as far as I am concerned. That is
what matters. That is what makes a difference in life and in the lives
of others, as I believe Carmen would concur! You may not be competing
with us on Team Carmen in the Lavaman this year but you are always an
honorary Team Carmen member... and an inspiration to me (and possibly
other the Team Carmen members) as we reach for our team fundraising goal
and find ways to get through our own individual perceived limits as we
train and prepare for our race starting line in March.
Me and Carri were support staff for, but did not compete alongside last
year's Team Carmen 2013 Lavaman team members, but, you who did and the
incredibly moving experience we had last year during the race events
inspired us to do so this year! That said, being peripherally around
the race and preparation of the race, one thing became unavoidably
evident to me... when you race for Carmen and in honor of Carmen you
don't race alone. As I am sure many of our fellow teammates who raced
last year on Team Carmen experienced, the spirit of Carmen (in
everything I described above) is right there to draw on and inspire you
in your training and in your race. In the past months, this has become
even more directly clear to me in my training. Whether you are just
starting your training today or if you are two and a half months into
official training like myself and Carri, or more, there is no
difference. Whether you have never technically swam a competitive lap
in your life and are just learning how to breath in the water like Carri
who courageously dipped her toe in the water and started working with
the swim coaches in the pool last week (very proud of her!) there is no
difference.
I never expected or planned on this (and know it isn't to last forever,
which I am not worried about), but each workout since my start of
training I have achieved a new personal record that in some way or form
exceeded my previous work out.
I wasn't focused on this and didn't even realize it until a little over a
week ago. Some weeks I am even working out 6 days in a row, my legs
wearing and fatiguing more and more and it has still continued to happen
(and again I know there will a stopping point to this). BUT, what I
also began to remember is that in each and every workout (or even when I
didn't want to go work out) whatever the 'wall' was that I was hitting,
I would think of Carmen, the fierce strength, courage resolve and love
that the TLP (Tough Little Princess) showed me, and everyone, and I find
the inspiration from her to move through it -- break down that next
limit that faces me and find that new space on the other side that I
couldn't see before. As Carri described so well in her fundraising
message a couple of months back and so many other of our team members
have highlighted, as well, Carmen personifies the true meaning of
inspiration for ourselves and so many others who she continues to touch
in many different ways.
We Team Carmen members did not set out to be triathletes, but Carmen
gives us the opportunity to transform ourselves into triathletes with
the purpose of helping those who face challenges similar to those Carmen
faced herself. She inspires us and in turn maybe we can inspire
others! That is the spirit, the story and the legacy that is Carmen and
that is the purpose of our resolve, me, my fellow teammates and those
who support us.
ARE YOU WITH US? If you are and if you are inspired to make a donation to support the cause, please do so at the link below.
I know not everyone will have read all of this (as I just set another
personal record for longest post in my FB history and probably future),
but thank you for those who did take the time, as it is my personal tale
of the ever-inspiring story of Carmen and her ongoing impact in so many
lives. Thank you to all of the supporters who have donated to Team
Carmen and its members thus far. None of this is possible without you
and none of it has the purpose it does without your donations, which go
to support the millions of lives currently effected directly and
indirectly by the disease. May each each individual out there facing
blood cancer and those individuals standing by there side find healing,
courage and support from what we are attempting to accomplish and above
all else know you are not alone. We have been down the road ourselves
and we know it is not a road anyone should have to or can travel alone.
In the interest of that we are with you in spirit and support, doing
what we can so you have as much care and opportunity for the best
treatment and with the hope that one day maybe no one has to travel that
road at all.
There is no way I can repay the gifts that Carmen gave me as thankfully
they are the truest type of gift that require no repayment -- only
appreciation for having been touched by the lessons and the willingness
to share it with others, which I hope I have done here today.
At one point during Carmen's treatment, she made a wish and comment, not
that she hoped to get better but, selflessly, in her own words, 'that
she wished no kid had to suffer or experience childhood Leukemia again.'
If you are with me/us in fighting to make this wish come true and
haven't donated yet, please feel free to do so at the below links.
If you want to donate to my personal fundraising page this is the link
-- all donations made to my personal fundraising page automatically pass
through to credit toward our overall Team Carmen fundraising goal too
http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/lavatri14/dmillerogg
If you happen to read this, but don't know me and just want to donate
directly to the Team Carmen fundraising page by all means, please do! --
here is the link to the Team Fundraising page
http://pages.teamintraining.org/hi/lavatri14/teamcarmen
If you somehow read this and don't know any of us feel free to click the
link to the Team Carmen Fundraising page above and then feel free to
click on any individual team member name to go to their personal
fundraising page and SURPRISE them with an unexpected donation. Carmen
loved surprises and all donations made to any of our individual team
members automatically credit toward our overall Team Carmen fundraising
goal too
Lastly, if you want to make a donation and happen to work for a company
that is willing to match your charitable donation (many companies do
this or are willing to do this if you ask). It is a great way to double
the impact and also give your company (and yourself) a charitable tax
write off.
* If you want to do something, but are unable to make a financial
donation me or one of our teammates can find a creative way that you can
contribute -- sometimes those are the most fun anyway. Help us reach
our Team Fundraising Goal. We are almost 70% there and looking to break
through that threshold.
And remember... no donation is to small or TOO BIG!
If you are not familiar with Carmen's personal story you can discover it in more detail at her blog --
http://carmenleolaniwhite.blogspot.com/
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