I wrote the post yesterday about the things Mommy and Daddy are doing for LLS. Team Carmen is still doing its best to contribute in some way to honor you. I know that where you are all of this probably seems a little silly but I hope we are making you proud. After I finished the post I felt a little empty and needed to say more to you.
I can't believe Christmas and your Mommy's Birthday is tomorrow. This will be our 4th Christmas season without you. Nothing about that seems right. I stare at your stocking and your ornaments on the tree. I remember like it was yesterday how much you loved decorating the Christmas tree - especially the pink ornaments that your Mommy gave you. The way you used to take all the ornaments off the little tree and put them all back on again - over and over.
A few weeks ago we spent two days at Disneyland. This was the same time of the year that we came in 2012 and 2013. That first year was so tough because, Disneyland was going to be your Make A Wish trip - your wish....."To Dance with a Princess at Christmas in the Snow". Mommy and I found it so difficult to be there without you because we knew how much you would have loved meeting the Princesses and seeing it snow - "Disney style". You are all around us but we would give anything to see the look of wonder on your face and sparkle in your eye.
As you know, Mommy gave me an amazing gift a few weeks ago. A beautiful painting by our dear friend Lisa Hummell of Carmen's Cove at Hualalai. I love how you, Trevor, Jake and Roxy are in the painting. It melts my heart to look at the painting but I am not sad. I am so thankful that my mind is full of great memories of you at the beach - running, laughing and dancing across the sand Spending hours in the ocean as if you were a mermaid. I know I can play these memories at any time.
Obviously, the gift that your Mommy and I want more than anything is to have YOU in our arms but that's not going to happen. We are left with our memories and the feeling of you around us always. And...that's okay.
Merry Christmas Our Sweet Baby Angel
We love you Carmen.
Mommy and Daddy
by Lisa Hummell